Talking to Your Kids About Mental Health and Faith
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”
— Mark 10:14 (NIV)
Many of us grew up in homes where feelings were not discussed, or where the only acceptable answer to “How are you?” was “Fine, thank God.” We learned to hide sadness and fear, sometimes even from ourselves. Now, as parents, we have a chance to do something different: to raise kids who know that feelings are not sins, that asking for help is brave, and that Jesus welcomes them just as they are.
Why these conversations matter now
Kids are facing real pressure. The CDC’s 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey found that 40% of U.S. high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. Those teenagers were once little kids learning, at home and at church, what to do with hard feelings.
Talking early and often helps kids build the words and the trust they will need later.
A few guiding principles
- Feelings are not sins. Jesus felt grief, anger, and distress. Emotions are part of being human.
- Faith and help go together. Praying and seeing a doctor or counselor are not opposites.
- You don’t have to have all the answers. “I don’t know, but let’s find out together” is a great answer.
- Model it. Kids learn more from how you handle your own stress than from what you tell them.
Age-by-age ideas
Little ones (about ages 3 to 6)
- Name feelings together. “You look frustrated. Your face is scrunched and your fists are tight.”
- Use simple Bible stories. Jesus calming the storm (Mark 4:35-41) is a great picture of bringing fears to him.
- Teach one calming tool. “Smell the flower, blow out the candle” for slow breathing.
- Pray short, honest prayers. “Jesus, I feel scared. Please be with me.”
School-age kids (about ages 7 to 11)
- Ask open questions at bedtime. “What was the hardest part of your day? What was the best?”
- Explore Bible characters with big feelings. David wrote honest songs to God when he was sad or afraid. Elijah was so tired and discouraged that God gave him sleep and food first (1 Kings 19).
- Explain that brains can get sick too. “Just like we go to the doctor for a broken arm, sometimes people see a doctor or counselor when their feelings are too big to handle alone.”
- Make a “calm-down plan” they can use at home or school.
Teens (about ages 12 and up)
- Talk side by side, in the car or on a walk.
- Ask about their friends. Teens often reveal their own struggles by talking about others.
- Be honest about your own experiences, in age-appropriate ways.
- Talk directly about getting help. Let them know they can always tell you, a school counselor, or a trusted adult, and that you will not be angry.
- Share crisis resources. Make sure they know they can call or text 988, or text HOME to 741741.
What to avoid
Even loving parents can accidentally shut down honest conversations. Try to avoid:
- “Big kids don’t cry.”
- “Just pray and it’ll go away.”
- “You have nothing to be sad about.”
- Reacting with panic or anger when they share something hard
- Using Scripture to correct feelings rather than comfort them
If your child is struggling
NIMH encourages talking to a health care provider when distressing symptoms, such as sleep problems, changes in appetite, loss of interest in usual activities, or irritability, last two weeks or more. For children, a pediatrician is a great first stop. They can help you decide whether a counselor would help.
If your child ever talks about wanting to die or hurting themselves, take it seriously and get help right away.
Making your home a safe place
Mark 10:14 shows Jesus welcoming children, even when his disciples thought they were a bother. You can reflect that welcome at home:
- Create regular, low-pressure time together
- Let your kids see you pray about your own worries
- Celebrate courage when they share something hard
- Remind them often: “There’s nothing you could tell me that would make me stop loving you.”
Honest questions to sit with
- What did I learn about feelings growing up?
- What do I want my kids to learn differently?
- When my child is upset, do I lead with comfort or correction?
Frequently asked questions
At what age should I start talking about mental health?
You can start as soon as kids begin to name feelings, often in the toddler and preschool years. Keep it simple and grow the conversation as they grow.
Should I tell my kids if I’m struggling with anxiety or depression?
Many families find that age-appropriate honesty helps. You might say, “I’ve been feeling really stressed, and I’m getting help from a doctor. It’s not your job to fix it.” A counselor can help you decide what to share.
What Bible stories help kids with big feelings?
Jesus calming the storm (Mark 4), David’s psalms, Elijah resting under the tree (1 Kings 19), and Jesus welcoming children (Mark 10) are all good starting points.
A gentle next step
Every honest conversation is a seed. Join the 4110 community newsletter for encouragement for families building faith and emotional health together. Some parents let their kids pick an Isaiah 41:10 piece from the shop as a wearable reminder that God is with them at school, too.
Looking for support for your child? Start here: Get Help Now.
If you’re in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line), or call 911 in an emergency.
This article is for encouragement and education and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental-health care.
Sources
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey Results”: https://www.cdc.gov/yrbs/results/2023-yrbs-results.html
- National Institute of Mental Health, “Caring for Your Mental Health”: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health
